I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
