Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
