Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
