And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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