She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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