I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
