I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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