speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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