guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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