the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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