The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I think I sprained my soul last night
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
