That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
