you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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