You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
