So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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