at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
