Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
