I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
