If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
