dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
God I need to hump something, right now.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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