I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
