And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
