So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
