do herpes really smell.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
