I'd wear matching sweaters with you
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
