he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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