You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
