In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
