Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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