maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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