Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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