he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
