maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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