Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
