and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
