Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
