my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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