There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
