Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
