hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
