Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
