Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think I won the penis lottery.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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