so let's talk penis.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
