It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
