lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
