There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
