What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
