so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
