so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
