Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
