Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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