I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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