peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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