dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm having to shit out rocks
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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