He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
