This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
