then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
