we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
