It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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